Women’s History Month. Wk2 A Herstory: All About Relationships There Are Men & There Are Nigerian Men

Last week I reminisced about my family history. This week I’m going to explore the fascinating world of marriage, divorce and relationships and the part they play in my journey.

I’m sure the title caught your attention. There are men and then there are Nigerian men. What do I mean? They are hyper masculine alpha males with attitude a.k.a. swagger. This is not a judgement. It is a matter of fact. They are the African men that white nightmares are made of. Uppity niggers.

How does that make the women? Well for one thing it makes us have to work harder to maintain law and order. Our female ancestors understood this. They were not push over women. The contemporary Nigerian women is less frequently a push over than the male controlled conservative media make out. At least not the women of the south where I am from and where I work. The men are fierce. So are the women.

One of the more interesting things I encountered in marriage in Igbo-Nigeria was the amount of woman on woman violence that occurred in domestic situations and how social control of women was exercised by women.

The women of my conjugal lineage were as important a part of my evolution as was my marriage and its dissolution. I’ll share a story that may give some insight into the dynamics of our relationship. I’ve changed names to protect their privacy.

I look forward to your comments.


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