Where Are We? And Where Are We Going?

What a mad week its been! Its been dominated by a domestic rearrangement. I’ve moved out of my beautiful but expensive home. Down sizing to an equally beautiful less expensive home. The voyage of every entrepreneur. Forgive me if I’ve been less than attentive as a result. For the next few weeks I’m a hotel resident. Feels like a holiday. Room service. Housekeeping. And clean sheets and towels everyday.

Professionally I’ve been working two pro bono women’s cases including Uzoma’s on top of my regular case load, closed my first major corporate client account, started probate on my fathers estate and finally found a stoke broker I’m comfortable with. Its been a productive week. My only regret? I didn’t take more time to write.

Earlier in the week we commissioned the SE regional editor of Champion Newspapers to go to see Uzoma and interview her brother who is with her at the hospital and the medical director of the hospital. He sent picture and a thorough narrative which we’ll post to a page on our website shortly. We’ll also publish a detailed update on our progress with Uzoma’s matter.

Its all been very intense. We’ll be resuming yoga classes soon as we come back from Open Forum 2012 in Cape Town South Africa. Yes we’re going to be there discussing money power and sex, our three favourite words. We’re also attending a World Bank Gender Dialogue session in Abuja on Monday. This shall be a working weekend and another busy week!

The OpenForum 2012 is not a porn convention. From the Open Forum website –

“From May 22 – 24, the OpenForum 2012 will provide an unprecedented opportunity for activists, academics, businesspeople and policy-makers to take a critical look at the factors that will influence the African democracy and governance agenda over the next decade, debate the paradox of unequal growth and turn innovative ideas into action that promotes real change”

It will discuss financing development in Africa, the civil sector and the private sector as well as rights of women and minorities including gay rights. With a theme like Money Power and Sex we’ll have more than enough opportunity to discuss marriage, divorce and rights within the family.


The World Bank Gender Policy Dialogue also provides an opportunity for professional development and sharing innovative ideas.

According to the invitation and the website the Gender Policy Dialogue aims to:

1.        Provide a multi-stakeholder platform for discussion and debate on the findings of the latest research on gender, including the 2012 World Development Report and the DFID/British Council research on Gender in Nigeria

2.        Explore options and best practices to mainstream gender in strategies and policies;

3.        Support the agenda of the Government of Nigeria to implement innovative gender equality programs in different regions of Nigeria


Big crowded events with lots of people. We always find them nerve racking. A colleague asked last week how shy introverts can manage the crowds. Now, no one believes for one minute we’re shy, arrogant maybe but never shy. But we were. According to all our personality tests we’re a mix of extrovert/introvert. We enjoy meeting people but we don’t know how to ‘work a crowd’.

‘Working a crowd’ sounds so contrived and insincere. We rarely leave an event with loads of budding relationships but we always come away with at least one enduring and mutually profitable friendship. Now that we work for our own small business we don’t have to report how many people we met and how we’ll be following up. Our objective is at least one genuine relationship. If we’re lucky a small nexus (2 or 3) for a possible alliance/collaboration. (Reminder to self – print more business cards)

Our research on prosecuting rape in Nigeria is almost done. We’ll finish the book proposal for that soon as we can too, see if anyone will publish it. The Abuja Family Law Clinic is not reaching the numbers we want. Will have to take it on the road. New strategies to consider for next quarter. The Women’s Legal Defence Trust Fund will also be launched next quarter. Just watch this space. We’re looking for an program assistant. If you know anyone that’s good send them to us.

Its been a mad year but its been a good year too. We’re making the progress we need to make and chasing the dream. The journey is strewn with diversions, pit stops, hurdles and mini quests. And among all the thorns are more than a generous number of roses. End of the 2nd quarter is a good time to review and adjust.

A bien tout mon amiee!

Posted by MzAgams with WordPress for BlackBerry.


9 thoughts on “Where Are We? And Where Are We Going?

  1. Im a Nigerian nd stays in Lagos. Ive been in an abusive marriage for 12 good yrs now which has reaally been telling on my person nd my 1st son who is 11yrs has been manifesting traces of an abuser by bullying the sister who is 7yrs. Ive been so so afraid to walk away but i wish to bcos im fast loosing my self esteem,feeling depressed always.. pls i need help bcos im too confuse on what to do

  2. Hello. Thanks for your post. I’ve been married for 2years. within which, I’ve been beaten up by the man 4 times. I have a child, 1yr+. The last time was really bad as he used a belt on me a day after I lost 5months preg and had to do an evacuation so I hadn’t recovered from the pain before I got beaten with a belt. Now, I don’t have the slightest feelings for him anymore- not love, not likeness, not respect. I can’t even stand him. I really want a divorce. Is this enough grounds for divorce? What do I need to do? I’m in school at the moment and I’ve been avoiding going home cos I really don’t want to see him, muchless live with him…What do you think would happen to my child?

      1. Thank you so much for your reply. I also want to ask about how long divorce procedure takes before it’s complete? I live in benin city, I don’t know if you could help me with a lawyer.

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