Now That You Are Finally The Oga Madam At the Top

A few years ago you finally realized you weren’t cut out to be an entrepreneur after your umpteenth venture crashed and you went bankrupt again.  So you dusted off your certificates, updated your CV with exaggerated achievements and applied for a real job like your mama and everybody else had been telling you to do since you graduated. After all middle age was approaching and you still didn’t have a house, a retirement fund or health insurance

After a few months and numerous soul crushing rejections by people that failed to see your brilliant genius you eventually landed a lower level job than you felt you deserved in an industry whose philosophy you don’t even respect but hey, it was a paying job. You couldn’t continue living on the dwindling good will of family and friends anymore.

You doggedly endured the soul numbing life of a worker bee, you never called in sick, you came to work on time, worked late, answered all your emails, attended boring departmental  meetings, sucked up to the boss and generally kept your nose clean. Once in a while you even managed to impress the boss and the board. Finally five years later, just when you were giving up your hard work is rewarded and you are promoted to a senior management position and become an oga madam at the top.

Google Images

Google Images

Well done.  You’ve been validated, your knowledge, your genius, your skill has been noticed and you are finally given the position you deserved in the first place. You can now boast to family and friends about your responsibilities and preen in the trust that has been placed in you. All those nay sayers that called you a good for nothing ditherer when you were being an artist will have to swallow their words and respect you. After all this is a credible organization you work for not some hick town one man show.

Well now that you are an oga madam at the top and no longer a lowly worker bee, I’m here to tell you how to live the rest of your life because I just love to give unsolicited advice. You see you cannot continue to live like you did before , when you came home after everyone has had their dinner and ate your reheated portion hunched over your laptop dealing with late emails and ignoring your SO who was trying to tell you about his day.

Google Images

Google Images

You can relax now and ask your new PA to deal with the emails and have a proper conversation with the people at home like you used once upon a time when you first met. You can wake up at 5am in the morning as usual and make guilt free love to your SO and discuss the kids, the mortgage, your plans for the day or whatever it is you want to discuss after sex early in the morning instead of jumping out of bed and heading for the laptop to check what email came in overnight.

There is no competition in the office to see who does more work after office hours. You don’t get paid over time and you work for an organization that can’t fire you anyway without a lengthy and complicated due process so unless you have fucked up pretty badly they won’t. Relax and enjoy your new position, enjoy your renewed love life and the loving companionship you have denied yourself all these years.

Picture: Forbes Magazine

Picture: Forbes Magazine

You can go to the office late once in a while, you can even skip that boring meeting, you now have a pool of eager young things at your beck and call waiting to climb the corporate ladder just like you did that you can delegate to attend and speak on your behalf.  They may not get it right every time but they need to learn and you need to learn to delegate. That’s what leaders do you know. You can finally close early and go for a candle lit dinner with your SO or take him for a long leisurely lunch  and now you can afford to.

Just think of all the other good things that you can afford now that you have become oga madam at the top with the new salary that goes with it. You can afford to go on a cruise for two or a vacation to the Bahamas or to buy a two-seater sports convertible.   I guess you could also decide to move into a bigger flat or get a bigger mortgage or you could decide to send junior to that new expensive British curriculum boarding school.  But hey, what’s the fun in that?

Your little flat is comfy, easy to care for, and in a great location and junior is already in a an expensive day school, and these things already swallowed your little salary before anyway leaving you with little for leisure, romance, hobbies or R&R.  Now you have become oga madam at the top thank your personal ‘chi’ and the Universe and enjoy it. It was not given to you only to take on more responsibilities than you had before. It was given to you so you could enjoy more life too.

Google Images

Google Images

Don’t deceive yourself that you will enjoy the world and all the things you missing out on right now when you are retired. You will be living on a pension, you will be old and tired and you may not have the energy mental or physical to start a new business or hustle for extra income. Hustle and start- ups are for the young and able.  And don’t deceive yourself into thinking that the children need an expensive education to succeed or that they will be grateful.  Children nowadays are very unreliable.

If your reason for the continuing the grind at the office to the exclusion of a life is anxiety that your enemies are waiting for you to slip up then the appropriate place to put your energy is prayer and fasting or frequent visits to the babalawo, depending on your beliefs. No matter how good you are if your enemies want to get you they will, your hard work will not save you. Even Forbes magazine says so. And if the boss doesn’t like you, you will never get ahead, as any woman who has been a victim of sexual harassment can tell you.

Photo: Forbes

Photo: Forbes

It won’t matter that you are the only one that submits projects on time,  that you always exceed your targets, that you regularly save the office money by exposing fraud, double invoicing and inflated contracts, that you come in early and are the last one to leave at the end of the day.  If you got enemies and the boss is one of them you will be tolerated only for a season before the hammer comes down on you at the first opportunity and you will loss the job and any chances for a good reference.

You got this job because you worked hard and paid your dues already.  Relax, expand your life with a healthy work life balance and be a good management role model. Make the trip to the top seem worth it to the rest of slogging womanhood.

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