Alice Prepares to Commemorate Nigeria’s 53rd Year of Independence

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As Nigeria prepares to commemorate its 53rd Independence leaders in power call for prayers and positive utterances while leaders out of power say the problem is visionless leadership forgetting when they were in Aso Rock  they were quite blind themselves. Or should we now forget that they built private universities with public money and traveled abroad to treat sprained ankles.

They say we must pray more and more, and they are right, it absolves us of the need to actually do anything.  We all say we want to end corruption but we know we don’t want to end it just yet, not before we have had our own turn to chop.  When we pray we pray for God to give us our turn to chop first after that we can use our loot to spread the word. God will surely forgive us because we pay our tithes even of the NGN100 we pay our tithe of NGN10 but one man cheated on his tithe that is why they caught him for corruption.

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“Throughout the world, the citizens base their choices of leaders on their proven abilities to deliver. Democracy is too important to be left in the hands of those seeking elective offices for its own sake without the vision to deliver the country from its quagmire” – Atiku in the Daily Post.

All I can say is remember when you are pointing a finger at someone that three fingers are pointing back at you. He has been trolling twitter for ideas to put into his vision for Nigeria, as if he will ever use them for other than hood winking the masses to vote for him. The poor fools that gave him their ideas.

Oshiomole also had a Independence thanksgiving church service and said our young people must recognize that America and what the UK have their own challenges. “There are people sleeping on the streets of New York, there are homeless people there”.  This is true but they also have a governance structure and a housing policy that pretends to work real hard to reduce the number of homeless people on the street. What is his homeless people policy?  He will have a party for them at his government mansion tomorrow to show how much he cares.

Jonathan in his pre-Independence media chat claims corruption is not as bad as we say it is and the exaggerated  perception is caused by media reports and local civil society advocacy. After all if foreign investors consider it only their third biggest challenge they must be right. That a Nigerian cannot get through the day without a demand for a bribe from police, civil servants, immigration, customs, environmental boards, VIO, FRSC or any of a dozen other agencies doesn’t count as corruption.

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He ordered gold iphones and had Reuben Abati issue a denial when he was called on it. On twitter someone posted a picture, must be the guy in Dubai who is having them made.   There are already claims the picture is a photoshop, we will know soon enough.  There are only 53 so whoever gets one can consider him or herself very very favored, the favorite of the King. Its a big honor. Can you imagine the lobbying going on already?  And the favorites will have to boast about their favor so we will see the gold iphone soon enough.

Boko Haram is killing more people, mostly students. They do not want anyone to go to school while they re-establish the Sokoto caliphate. I didn’t know the Sokoto caliphate was so retrogressive or is it only western education that is haram? We must all read the Koran then and become Boko Haram too.  Jonathan growls at them ‘How dare you?!’ Meanwhile he doesn’t even know if their leader is alive or dead so who is he growling at anyway?

You know there are rumors that Jonathan is having an intimate sexual relationship with one of his ministers. The minister herself peddles these rumors, she says ‘if you think its easy go and do it now’. Its like the gold iphone, there is no virtue in it unless it is known that you are the Kings favorite and have the ear or the eye or whatever other body part of the King. I wonder why they settled for the iphone? The Virtu is classier and much more prestigious as a status symbol.  The iphone is so populist, the gold iphone is like a trashy tart, expensive but still a tart.

I read that we should count our blessings as we commemorate Nigeria’s 53rd Independence. I’m really trying to find something to celebrate other than the fact that we are still together. I’m married 30 years next year, and I am happy to announce to one and all that we are happily married. I’m planning our Pearl anniversary already. The fact that we haven’t spoken to each other in 26 years is part of our happiness but at least in a country like Nigeria where form is more important than substance I can still claim the privilege of marriage.

Photo: Forbes
Photo: Forbes

Please if you can help me with counting those blessing I will appreciate it very much. I have to write something to post tomorrow.

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