A Good Will Message to the People of Nigeria on the Occasion of the 53rd Independence Celebration

My country people! Happy Independence Day!

I don’t know what we should be happy for exactly but lets be happy anyway. Its better than being miserable. After all if you are reading this you are not one of those students that they killed in Bornu state and Yobe state and you are not one of those people that they beheaded last night on Damaturu Road.  And even sef if you are reading this you are one of the few that have a smart phone or access to the internet so it can’t be all that bad for you.

Be careful my country people as you waka today o. Some miscreants have promised to make this day another day of mourning. They have nothing better to do. They did not go to real school and they have no job other than to kill people.  Please stay at home with your wife or husband and children and if you don’t have a wife and husband and children I sorry for you. Quick quick go and find one. This is Nigeria, the Lord will provide for you and them.

My beloved country men and women you see I love you well well pass my own mama and papa sef. Today Independence is special because it is the last time we will celebrate together before we start mourning  amalgamation 100 years ago by Lord Lugard and Queen Victoria. All our different tribes and communities have to mourn the day they lost their own independence and became one Nigeria.  I hope we can survive that one.

Our journey don long well well and we have made progress. I’m not sure what that progress is but if you tell me I will believe you and tell our fellow Nigerians.  We must be proud of our national accomplishments. We have accomplished most corrupt nation, most happiest nation and least developed nation. We also accomplished June 12, that was our greatest accomplishment if not for that evil genius man. Its just a matter of time before they make us permanent member of the UN Security Council.

We are fighting poverty and corruption and unemployment, in fact we have already given them all a TKO. What you see in the street is not poverty, it is people pretending so that they can obtain money from the government that is all. And that thing is not unemployment,it is lazy youths that want to collect amnesty. And that is not corruption, that is a holograph projected by the press and those jobless people on twitter. In fact, joblessness is the problem in Nigeria.

The men and women in power are fulfilling their obligation to serve their people responsibly and improving the lives of their people.  Despite our high moral principles politics and politicians are just a distraction you great people of this great nation don’t need us it is you that have made the country great already but we won’t go away because if we did you would have to watch Nollywood for entertainment.


My fellow country men and women if you are still wondering what we should be grateful for today or what we should be celebrating I have just remembered  Syria, we thank God we are not like those people yet. Not too long ago they were even better than us when Abacha was the President until one day craze people there decided to fight the government.  The same craze people that want to make our country and the whole world look like Syria.

My beloved country men and women, I want you to have faith and believe in Nigeria even while your children are dying, even while your tummy is grumbling with hunger, even as you sit in darkness waiting for the light of PHCN, even though you are not safe on the highway or even in your bed. Have faith and pray, speak only positive utterances, and prophesy only good visions so that we can finally exorcise the demons of witchcraft that are withholding  our progress and disrupting the unity of our marriage.

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