If You Chew Me Baboon, I Will Chaff You Giraffe

My Grandfather Had Many Children  Copyrigtt Lesley Agams
My Grandfather Had Many Children
Copyright Lesley Agams

“Why do you like talking like a man in this compound. Look here my friend so long as you staying in this house I can tell you what to do.”

Really? The patriarchy rears its ugly head. Apparently I don’t talk ‘normal’ which apparently means I don’t talk submissively and hesitantly. Its always getting me into trouble.

“Why are you always giving orders? Are you a man?”

Who has experience with those police men that end an argument by telling you ‘After all I have a woman like you in the house.’

‘No’ I tell them, “you do not have a woman like me, you have a woman that doesn’t talk back and thinks your shit is ice cream, that is not me’

If you are into submissive women i don’t fit the bill. i will challenge you, argue with you, enrage you, maybe even insult you, turn your world upside down and generally rock your boat. I can’t help it. I am like a force of nature. Watch out.

So if you chew me baboon – if you give me attitude – I will chafe you a giraffe – I will react with an attitude bigger than yours. I am the queen of drama. I was brought up by lots of male drama queens. You learn to hold your own against the onslaught or you sink and disappear!

I keep it easy cause I don’t want to lose my cool you know. I have a tendency to use lethal force. And to want to end fights quickly with a knock out. Like a Mike Tyson.

I’m not struggling ‘man’ with anyone so its easier to move out of the homestead. Keep your manhood on! Umuaka has progressed. There are at least two to three hotels now. More if you count the numerous short time joints.

Moving into a hotel is a mini scandal. The natives are completely shocked. What kind of woman leaves the protection of her homestead to live in a hotel?

Where do the natives get this idea that women aren’t or shouldn’t be authoritative? Ever known anyone bossier than your mom?


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