I must admit that I only spent 3 hours preparing for Wednesdays tweet chat on ‘Paying for Sex’. It was a packed day and I thought 3 hours was more than enough. Paying for sex? Are you for or against, how hard could that be.
Of course you know my position, my approach is rights based, every body has the right to do what they want with their money and their body. Its a choice. Make your choice, stick with it and stop judging everyone who is different.
Just remember that your rights end where mine begin, do no harm , yada, yada, yada. At least thats the theory. In reality the strong and dominant lord it over the weak and meek. But I digress, as usual…
I was disappointed in my presentation. I felt it lacked depth, it recounted the superficial details.
I wanted to educate, inform and also entertain. I didn’t want to make it all raunch so I first presented some facts about prostitution hoping that would elicit questions that would lead us into a discussion. I don’t know if it was folks were unaware or just quite.
I don’t know what response I expected. That people would start talking about why they pay for sex or even admit that they ever paid for sex? Male or female. That someone would admit that they have ever been paid for sex, male or female? In judgmental Naija?
Even I couldn’t admit that I had paid for sex before and that I have been paid for sex before. I even been in a long term relationship that made me feel as if I was being paid for sex. When I was ‘good’ I was rewarded – with money, trips, gifts and shopping sprees. When I was ‘bad’ (which was often) all financial privileges were withdrawn!
Debbie Edwards alluded to the transactional nature of sex and we got into a discussion about ‘runs girls’ and the transactional sex within marriage. Sex isn’t always or only paid for with money. Its not always a simple negotiation – how much? Its a whole spectrum of behaviour.
Sex is about power.
It would be nice to look deeper. Do you want to REALLY discuss the topic “Paying For Sex” – with depth and maturity? Do we get back together again on Sunday and instead of talking about Sex & Menopause (yawn) revisit ‘Paying for Sex”?