That’s how I want it, that’s how it’s going to be. This is not a negotiation. If you don’t like it your only option is to leave.

If we’re always talking compromise and if you expect me to compromise then we are incompatible. Period.

I will not meet you half way because that means we’re not even on the same page anyway.

You better like eat to out because I’m not going to cook every day and I love eating out. Yes, it’s expensive so I make sure I can afford it. And when I can’t I’m cool going to mama put.

I won’t even cook every other day. Once a week is about my limit. More than that and I start to feel oppressed. Better still if you love to cook. I might eat in more often.

No compromise.

I don’t clean, I have a housekeeper that comes in once a week. I wish I could afford an English butler. And a French cook for intimate dinner parties of 10 or 20. I love to entertain.

I manage IKEA while collecting Russian Gzhel, Wedgwood and Stratford. I chose my Wedgwood designs when I was 21. A family heirloom to pass down to my granddaughters. Like a good babushka, a Russian tradition brought to Africa.

No compromise.

I will only agree to monogamy if you are likewise monogamous. If we’re both making an honest effort at it and discussing it’s challenges openly.

If you are polyamorous I will feel cheated if I’m not also. And that can’t ever be good.

I believe strongly in reciprocity and balance.

If you’re discreet with that little floozie I’ll be discreet with the toy boys.

No compromise.

The children will go to school where I say so and you will hustle your ass to make sure you pay at least half of that guaranteed to be expensive but very genius making school fee.

With lots of extra curricula life building and enhancing activities. Or we just don’t bother having them.

No compromise.

The only time I will live in a hole-in-the-wall is while we’re saving for our first mortgage. And it better be really clean. And you better help keep it clean. Or i’ll feel cheated. Better still we better have a housekeeper. See why I love Nigeria. I can actually afford one!

I like to travel, and travel often and travel far away and to strange and dangerous places. I like going alone. It helps me face my fears.

If you can’t handle it we’re incompatible. No compromise. Yeah, I could meet a dark handsome horny stranger. What I do with him depends on what you’re doing while I’m away. If you’re bitching about the kids or the home or the risk or cheating (and I WILL know) I might just fall for his insincere compliments and his hungry eyes.

If your manhood depends on my compromise, is that another word for submission? The only place your going to get submission….

We’ll leave some things to the imagination.

They’re women out there that will be happy sitting at home praying while you’re out being a ‘boy’. That’s not me. I want a man. And I don’t pray. I party. And while sometimes we’ll party together, sometimes I like to party alone. No it does not mean I want to fuck some body. Whether that happens or not depends on whether you’re going to a be a little bitch.

I’m a woman. I want attention, affection and admiration. If you don’t give it to me I’ll get it somewhere else. Or I’ll feel cheated.

No compromise.

If you make more money than me and ever use it to try to control or manipulate me…..we’re incompatible.

No compromise.

Sometimes I’m going to hurt myself cause you know me, always jumping in two feet first. Don’t be a bitch about it. I’m a risk taker. Someday I’ll die doing something exciting. Give me a good burial. And it better be one heck of a party. Play my favorite music. You know what it is. Or we’re incompatible!

If you give me the think-about-kids line we’re incompatible. I’m here for ME not the kids. They’re women out there that live for the kids. That’s not me.

No compromise.

I will not marry you. Divorce is too expensive and takes too much time. If you want to get married, we are incompatible. If you think that the ritual of marriage will somehow force me to compromise, we are incompatible. I will not take your name, I will not be your missus. If you think we have to be together forever we are incompatible. Sure it might happen but don’t tell me that. It makes me want to run away.

May everybody find the one they will never have to compromise for.


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