Marriage Among The Igbo of South East Nigeria

The Igbo people have a rich and unique marriage tradition that is still practiced to this day. In this blog post, we will explore the various elements of Igbo marriage customs and traditions.

Marriage among the Igbo people of southeast Nigeria is a complex and highly valued institution. Traditionally, marriage was not just a union between two individuals but also between two families, with an emphasis on maintaining strong family ties and obligations. Igbo marriages typically involve multiple stages, including negotiations between families, the payment of a bride price, and various rituals and ceremonies.

In recent years, however, there has been a trend towards more Westernized and individualistic notions of marriage among the Igbo. This has led to a greater emphasis on personal choice and romantic love, as well as a decline in the importance of traditional family structures and obligations in the marriage process. Despite these changes, however, marriage remains a highly respected institution among the Igbo, and divorce is still relatively rare.

In Igbo Nigeria, customary marriages involve several elements, including:

  1. Introduction of the families: The groom’s family sends representatives to the bride’s family to express their interest in marriage, and to request for an audience with the bride’s family.
  2. Payment of bride price: This involves the groom’s family paying a certain amount of money or goods to the bride’s family as a symbol of appreciation for bringing up the bride and as a sign of commitment to the union.
  3. Exchange of gifts: Both families exchange gifts, such as kola nuts, drinks, and food, to signify goodwill and mutual respect.
  4. Consent of the bride: The bride’s consent is sought during the traditional marriage ceremony, and the bride is expected to give her consent before the marriage is finalised.
  5. Traditional rites: The traditional marriage ceremony involves several rites and rituals that are performed to seal the union, including the breaking of kola nuts, the pouring of libation, and the exchange of vows.

In Igbo Nigeria, customary marriage involves the exchange of a bride price, which is a payment made by the groom or his family to the bride’s family. The amount of the bride price varies depending on the families involved and the social status of the bride and groom. The bride price is seen as a way to compensate the bride’s family for the loss of her labor and as a sign of respect for the bride and her family. The marriage ceremony itself typically involves a series of rituals and ceremonies that are designed to signify the transition from single life to married life. These may include the sharing of kola nuts, the pouring of libations, the tying of the bride’s wrapper, and the exchange of gifts between the families.

In Igbo customary marriage, the various stages are typically referred to as follows:

  1. “Iku Aka”: This is the first stage of the traditional marriage rites, where the groom is introduced to the bride’s family and seeks their consent to marry their daughter. The introduction ceremony is an essential part of the Igbo marriage tradition. During this ceremony, the groom’s family brings gifts such as kolanuts, palm wine, and other items to the bride’s family. The bride’s family then reciprocates by serving the groom’s family food and drinks.
  2. “Iju Ese”: Investigations begin on the groom’s family and they check their background and history. Some of the factors they check are the presence of hereditary illness, untoward behavior, divorce, fertility, etc. The results of the check determine the progress to the next steps. The bride’s family sits and determines the capability of the groom to care for their daughter and the children she will have in the future. They assume that the family of the groom has carried out some investigation on the bride’s family.
  3. “Ime ego”: This is the stage where the bride price negotiation takes place between the groom and the bride’s family. The bride price is a significant aspect of Igbo culture and is considered a demonstration of respect for the bride’s family. In Igbo culture, the groom is required to pay a bride price to the bride’s family before the marriage can be consummated. The bride price is a token of appreciation to the bride’s family for raising the woman and preparing her for marriage. The amount paid as the bride price varies depending on the family and community of the bride. It can be paid in cash, livestock, or other valuables.
  4. “Igba Nkwu”: This is the final stage of the marriage rites and is also known as the wine-carrying ceremony. The ceremony is filled with music, dancing, and cultural displays. Igba Nkwu is the most significant aspect of Igbo marriage customs and traditions. It is a colorful and festive event that involves the entire community. The most exciting part of an Igba Nkwu wedding is when the bride begins to search the crowd for her husband. When she finds him, she kneels and offers him the drink in her hand. When he takes a sip of the wine, the crowd gathered to know that he is her husband. 

Overall, Igbo customary marriage is considered an important social and cultural event in the Igbo community, and the traditional marriage rites are highly valued and respected.

It’s difficult to make a definitive statement about divorce rates among the Igbo people because historical records are limited and varied, and divorce practices may have varied between different communities and over time. However, some studies suggest that divorce was relatively uncommon in traditional Igbo society, and that it was usually initiated by men rather than women. This is thought to be because divorce required a woman to return the bride-price paid to the her family, and this could be a significant financial burden. It’s worth noting, however, that the impact of colonialism and modernization on traditional marriage practices in Igbo society may have led to changes in divorce rates.

In Igbo culture, divorce was considered a community affair, and the extended family of both the husband and wife played an important role in the divorce process. The couple’s families would typically attempt to reconcile the couple first, but if that was not possible, they would facilitate the divorce proceedings. The bride price would be returned to the groom’s family, and any children from the marriage would typically stay with the father’s family.